Glendale Church

1 Corinthians 12:12-26

12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.¹³For in the one Spirit we were all baptised into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and we were all made to drink of one Spirit.

14 Indeed, the body does not consist of one member but of many. ¹⁵If the foot were to say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body’, that would not make it any less a part of the body. ¹⁶And if the ear were to say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body’, that would not make it any less a part of the body. ¹⁷If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? ¹⁸But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. ¹⁹If all were a single member, where would the body be? ²⁰As it is, there are many members, yet one body. ²¹The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you’, nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’ ²²On the contrary, the members of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, ²³and those members of the body that we think less honourable we clothe with greater honour, and our less respectable members are treated with greater respect; ²⁴whereas our more respectable members do not need this. But God has so arranged the body, giving the greater honour to the inferior member, ²⁵that there may be no dissension within the body, but the members may have the same care for one another. ²⁶If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honoured, all rejoice together with it.

Glendale Church was a huge part in Willies life. For the five years I had been 'walking' with him, he often came with me and Rheanna to a Sunday service. Church is not a building but a family, a body as in the above Biblical passage. When one part of the body is hurting then all the body hurts. Glendale were my rock along with God as they covered me in prayer when I was with Willie and his family. They were brilliant at SOS requests going via a telephone system, texting and calling if urgent prayer was required. Their prayers were invaluable and precious, and I believe a huge part of the journey and Willies increased faith. When you are on a 'mission' it is so important to have that solid back up. Without which we would be weary and useless as we have no time to remember to pray for energy and wisdom in intense situations. I shall be eternally grateful to the church I belonged to for 26 years. I could not have continued with this privileged position without them.

Glendale is a local evangelical alliance church started over 30 years ago by a collection of couples God had bought together. The Ethos of the Church was to adhere strictly to Biblical teachings and to 'love' everyone as Jesus first loved us. All these years later the congregation has grown from about 20 to an average of 150 people regularly attending the Sunday services. 2 of the original couples are still in service as Elders (with their beautiful wives) and even though there have been a couple of changes over the years, the eldership has been a strong foundation for the incredible church that exists today. One of the elders now in Heaven with His Saviour - encouraged many to join with his famous 'hug' for all that walked through the door, One of the wives' legendary flapjack got me Hooked!

Willie loved Glendale, Glendale loved Willie. At the time church was held in a local secondary school, Park House. Willie loved being greeted warmly by everyone, in particular he loved the guitar players and the band in general. He got to know many friendly faces including the lovely Janet Wills..crazy woman on fire for God..amongst many others. He did not like sitting still and listening to anyone speaking.

This meant once worship was over and the 'boring' bit kicked in..we wandered around the various children's groups saying hi, then outside to kick the fallen leaves, pick up stones or play in the sand of the long jump. In winter I have fond memories of us joining the teenagers led by Dave and Hayley Clarke having a snowball fight. Even though Wille was blind he knew the voices of the youngsters and adored Megan and Sarah Bullock amongst others..and even laughed when he was hit by a softly thrown snowball. That morning outside in the crisp snow was precious...the youngsters had time for him, he felt included and loved. Inspite of no vision he was able to be part of a group activity safely.

As Willie got progressively weaker in the latter few months I would push him in his pushchair to the front of church. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he laid back and listened to the choruses - beautiful melodies that filled you with joy and hope. The Holy Spirit often filling you with love overflowing. One Sunday Zoe was with us and saw Willies tears and asked me to take him out as she believed he was upset due to the loud music.

As Zoe was upset, I obediently pushed him out into the corridor away from the blare of the music. Once
outside in the quietness Willie spoke with a desperation in his small voice "I want to touch Jesus, please can I touch Jesus". He had been filled with the Holy Spirit, his tears had been genuine tears of joy. I bent down and held his hand . "Willie hold out your hands and Jesus will touch them, He will grasp your hands and never let them go, He will walk with you holding your hand every step of the way."

I was confident of this as my experience after losing our baby had taught me that's how it is. First I felt Jesus held me high above His shoulders then put me onto His shoulders, then on His hips until finally after a few months I knew He was about to put me down on the ground. I remember being afraid but I needn't have been because when that time came and He placed me back on Terra Firma He grasped my hand gently and today all these years later that's how we walk together daily, Jesus
walking with me holding my hand.

Willie calmed down and put out his hands, and smiled peacefully as he imagined Jesus taking them and holding them gently. This was so precious. Willie had such a real relationship with Our Lord - the evidence coming think and fast as the days passed and Willie got weaker. Praise Jesus that He was able to comfort Willie in the unspeakable and unknown depth of pain his tumour gave him.

Although Zoe did not share our faith, she did love being welcomed by the lovely people of Glendale, and felt relaxed and at home.They would chat to her and pray with her - or just be an ear to listen. I know that Zoe felt loved by many. Among Zoe's favourites were Jim Toothill and his dear wife Doreen the 'mum and dad' of the church at that time.

In all this time I never once heard Willie complain to Jesus, or to pray for recovery, to take the pain away - or to have his vision back. Willie only ever wanted to be with Jesus, to see Him face to face. He had an understanding that this life was temporary and there was a more beautiful existence to look forward to. This was incredible as it was only ever from within Willies heart, mind and soul -  not from another human being.

People often wondered or suggested that we should pray for a miracle for the brain tumour to vanish completely. I know that The Lord is capable of that if He wanted to do it. Ste, one of our congregation could testify to that as The Lord had miracuously healed his mum of a brain tumour,that astonished the medical team and it is duly noted as a 'Miracle with no explanation' on her medical records.

But I never felt prompted to pray for that, and if its in God's Will somebody would have stepped forward to pray especially for healing on this earth, as they were led. It was included in our prayers naturally that if it was in God's plan then please heal Willie completely, but Willie himself was leading the way forward with his desire to move on.

A neighbour of mine had died at the age of 39 on my 39th birthday. I pondered on this with Jesus. "Why Lord do some people live to 100, some only 5, some 39...why Lord?" In reply He gave me a vision. A beautiful blue sky, still blue ocean joining seamlessly in the sunshine. One small drop of water falling slowly, glistening in the sun - God spoke to my heart saying our lives are like one drop of water, eternity is all the drops of water in the ocean, unmeasurable and forever changing. if we on earth see that we only get a quarter of a drop or half a drop then life is cruel and unfair, yet what we gain in the zillion drops of eternity is far greater, but we cannot see that until we are there...forever. We only see what we do not get, not how much more we will enjoy. It was 'the bigger picture'. This does not take away the sadness and pain we feel when someone dies but hopefully fills us with a hope for a future beyond our comprehension and understanding. God say to me 'do not question but trust'.

Glendale continued to pray for the family. Willie and Rheanna were dedicated into the church in an emotional service, a couple of years before he died. Rheanna loved going to Sunday school and made many friends. She would bounce in, smiling and happy to church and would love to sing the worship songs. I loved standing with my arm around her, united in love and by The Grace of God. Circumstance  had joined us like surrogate mother and surrogate daughter, a special bond that remains, a special love like no other. I'm so proud of Rheanna and grateful to God that He continues to have His hand upon her. She is now taller than me so no more standing with my arm draped around her shoulder, more like her hips lol.

The support from Glendale was invaluable throughout and beyond. Pete and I received a generous voucher for a meal out together as they felt we were giving up a lot of our time together. Food was bought round in abundance when Willie and family moved in with us, especially the last few days when they knew |I didn't have time to cook, yummy South African treats from the Van Zyls and Botha's - delicious fruit cake and flapjack from the lovely Decima, and so much more..from so many of you.Through the church and other special friends we had so much support..God really did provide all that we needed, all of the time.

In his final weeks, many visited to pray and entertain, Micah often popped by on his way home to say hi and pray with Willie. He loved Micah's sense of humour and valued his prayers. Jason and his wife Jodie...well they were the stars of the show..more of their exciting input to come..

Together with Christian friends, family and the many teachers at St Marks school who shared our faith they combined into a family that supported us, prayed for us and loved us always - Thank you each and everyone one of you, I thank God for you all.

 I also Thank God for all those not of the same faith that were also invaluable on our journey, for your prayers and acts of true unselfish kindness. This blog is not to say anyone is anymore important whether they believe or not believe - but to give thanks and acknowledgement to our Church for all the support and love they provided for us all. I think I'm tying myself up in knots here but to all those that know me you will understand my take on this without offence...I hope!

Gods plans...

Following on from mums amazing exit, I reassured Zoe that The Lord would undertake when Willies time came. I had complete faith that God had an awesome plan for Willie...not only was I not disappointed but 'overwhelmed' would be a mighty understatement. I have sadly witnessed a few people that I love on their final journeys and I realise the plans are intricately matched to their situations - I have been blown away so many times at the incredible way The Lord walks hand in hand with the beautiful soul waiting to join Him in eternity. it's Good Friday and a stark reminder to me that Jesus himself did not have a nice passing into Eternity but a horrific death on a cross - to save us from our sins, in our place. I know some people have not experienced these amazing journeys and I cannot answer the mystery of how, why or when. I did feel  the Lord was constantly preparing us for what lay ahead.

Willie was still only the size of a four year old so could be easily carried around, but sadly as you know, not by Zoe, his mum. She was therefore petrified as he got weaker, that she would be unable to care for him 24/7 even with the au pairs help. I constantly reassured her and reminded her of how God's plans for mum worked out and even though I had no idea how God was going to sort this one...I knew with all my heart he would do.

 I love the way God works. I was praying in faith and I was grateful that He did not enlighten me as to what He had in store. If He had, I would have run a million miles in the opposite direction. From experience I know The Lord gives us enough Grace for the moment. If He had given me a preview before I was filled with sufficient Grace I would have been afraid...very afraid. Praise God that we have no idea what's coming - Thank you God that we can trust without knowing.

I would have come up with a zillion reasons why His plan would
 a) not work
 b) my husband would leave me
 c) I would have throttled Zoe after 24 hours of her moving in. (Or she would have throttled me...we are so        very different. I definitely snore louder.)

 But as you know He said "my ways are not your ways." And Thank you God that they are not, what boring lives we would lead, as we tried to devise 'sensible plans'.

Zoe naturally continued to worry as Willie got more tired. He was asking more and more "When will Jesus give me my wings so I can fly to Heaven". This question was his most common one, I have no idea where he got the notion from that he needed wings to fly to Heaven, but who was I to correct him. It was a poignant way of letting us know he was ready to move on. As he had told Julia his Teaching assistant earlier - "I'm ready to go to Heaven." As someone without a religious faith Julia was taken aback by such a clear vision from her star pupil. It sent her into uncontrollable sobbing, whilst Willie continued chatting to those around him unperturbed.

I continually reassured Zoe and tried to help her have faith in my faith. I can truly understand how hard it must have been for her - someone saying 'it will be ok, God will provide'..when she wasn't entirely convinced He existed at all. Her thought was their only option would be weeks/ months in a hospital or local hospice, both of which were not an ideal option in Zoe's mind. To imagine watching your son 'fade' away in a hospital bed, with the hustle and bustle of the busy wards, strangers passing by, rules and regulations was too much to bear. I could see Zoe getting more and more depressed as the weeks passed by. The sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, dreading losing a child so young is bad enough, without the added pressure of not being able to care for them adequately yourself.

My husband Pete took off for his annual hockey tour to Prague at the beginning of April 2008. What happened next was quite surreal. I had offered to have Willie overnight so Zoe and Rheanna, then 11, could have some much overdue quality time together. On the Saturday Zoe rang to say Willie was particularly low and not well enough to come for a sleepover. I took Rheanna instead, much to her delight. She loved Zoe but didn't like missing out on a sleepover 'chez The Smiths'.

The following morning I rang Zoe to see if she was up to a Church visit. Willie apparently had got worse during the night, and Zoe was in tears of desperation. I went round to have a chat and see how I could help.
As I walked in Willie shrieked 'Miffy' from the lounge, I went in and bent down so he could hug me with those chubby arms tight around my neck. 'Please take me home with you', he pleaded in a very sad small voice, 'Please Miffy'.

I chatted to Zoe for a few minutes, both of them were so low, so depressed it felt like a dark black cloud looming over the household. I knew I had only one option. I gently put Willie on the settee, turned to Zoe and said "Pack a few things up for a week, I'll be back in an hour".

Zoe was too exhausted to argue. I went straight home, looked into the kitchen/lounge that was converted from our old garage for mum. Could I squeeze in a double bed? it was very narrow. Tom was looking after, Andrew, Rheanna, and Joshua somewhere in the house.  Simon was away for a few months. I had little time so I phoned Micah - a young man from Church who lived locally. Thankfully he hadn't gone to Church that morning. I explained I needed manpower quickly. He grabbed a neighbour on the way, and arrived within 10 minutes.

I was directing anyone willing to carry, push or pull furniture, objet's d'art and bedding in a flurry of mad removals. The lounge/kitchen became a bedsitting room for Willie and Zoe, complete with own kitchen for making of organic dishes and swamp juice (fresh vegetable smoothies that I nicknamed according to appearance). The settee went into our conservatory, the makeshift conservatory furniture dumped in the garden. Rheanna was given a bigger bedroom, next to ours in case she needed me in the night. The boys moved around to accomodate their needs. Thank God we live in a Tardis.

Satisfied with the results and trying very very hard not to think about how I would explain it to Pete - I went to collect our new house guests. I confess to agreeing to one week only as we had visitors due the next weekend so I warned Zoe she may have to move back after a rest. This was the human side of me running scared! The following weekend our guests were happy to sleep on the blow up beds. There was no way Zoe could now cope alone.

I would like to pay tribute to my wonderful and patient husband. I marvel at God's wisdom in seizing the opportunity of husbands absence to move in our new family. However this did leave me with the task of explaining the change in room use on the way back from Bristol airport. Pete had played a lot of hockey and consumed a fair amount of alcohol, I collected him at 1 am so he was also tired. I wasn't sure if he was deliberately not speaking or actually sleeping in the car coming home. After 18 months of my mum staying, several of Simon's friends in need of a place to stay, the odd homeless au pair...and now a family of three indefinitely. Welcome home Pete.

Two days later he still had not commented so I just reeled off all the reasons why there was no other option. Blah blah blah and more blah..disabled mum...dying child...big sister...no where to go...

I left him quietly contemplating as I went off to drive the boys to school, with Rheanna. After ten minutes I got a text saying "I love you, and they are welcome to stay for as long as they want to". Hallelujah, I love the fact God chose me a husband that allowed me to be the person God wanted me to be and to be able to follow my instincts if I felt God saying "do this or do that" knowing I could rely on Pete to understand and go with it no matter how crazy that idea was. Amazing husband.

Within 24 hours both Zoe and Willie had perked up no end. I realised Zoe's anxieties had been rubbing off on Willie, I also believe Willie thought our house was 'The airport to heaven'...which is also possibly why visitors started falling off later in the year. I dare not think of how long and how complicated it could get, there was a need, and we had been given all that we needed to meet that need, including a huge heart for our three lodgers, and an infinite amount of Grace to keep us all sailing along smoothly. All safe together in the Ark..the unknown  journey had really begun.

Mums the word - or was that nanny?

I never intended for this blog to be about me...but there are significant moments so closely entwined I hope I'm forgiven for sharing my experiences to.

My lovely mum was living with us in 2007 following the sad death of my stepfather in 2005 and her diagnosis of terminal cancer. An inspiration to us all she taught us how to live and give thanks one day at a time. We all enjoyed her bubbly company and enthusiasm for enjoying the moment without complaint or fear. I was guilty of waining a bit in my faith and dreaded the meeting with her consultant when she delivered a 'time' frame. I couldn't bear the thought of my mums face as her 'sentence' was delivered.

For this reason I confess (I never did tell my mum or my brother eek) that I prayed to God he would take her gently whilst she slept so she wouldn't have to face death head on. This was crazy as every morning for 18 months I took in her cup of tea with bated breath...had my prayers been answered? Thankfully again and again she greeted me with a chirpy "good morning".


On her 67th birthday on 4/9/2007 the consultant said 'it'...the moment had arrived..."I'm sorry your liver has failed..it is no longer functioning..you are too ill for chemotherapy...

I knew from previous experience of friends relatives that this would probably give her a maximum of 2 weeks. My mum did not break down..I did (after she had walked back to the car with my brother).
My ultimate fear had not been realised, mum smiled peacefully, thanked Jane her consultant for all her help and support and prepared to say goodbye.

 Taken aback by mum's serene and accepting composure, Jane exclaimed.."of course if you feel a bit
better next week do give me a call. How hard a job these consultants have, Jane had kept mum going 2 years beyond the original diagnosis and anticipated 3 months survival. In our eyes she had excelled in her care and compassion, and yet sadly the moment had arrived when she could help no longer. Amazing consultants, we were very fortunate to have had excellent experiences with all that mum came into contact.

I needn't have worried...mum came home blew out her candles and continued to party for the next few days as friends and family in their droves came and went. There was much laughter, few tears and incredible peace. On the Friday morning bedridden and not eating (I actually think we forgot to feed her oops) she held my hand and said " I feel so weary Sue, After the visitors have gone I'll go if you don't mind."  "Sure mum I replied - you book your ticket". There was a sense of Peace beyond understanding, an acceptance that this was mum's time. Time for us to let go, and let God.

The visitors came and went, she telephoned my Uncle Ron who was on holiday abroad..friends and family prayed with her (I was slightly perturbed by the fact she preferred my best friends son to pray
with her rather than me!) the younger grandchildren went to bed, and at 1am ish with her three children and 3 of her elder grandchildren holding hands with her by candlelight, in her bedroom, we witnessed the most peaceful and beautiful passing from this life into the next. Even the doctor who had visited earlier to administer some strong pain killers when mum got uncomfortable, came in to certify her death, said gently"something very special happened here tonight."

I miss my mum soooo much but I'm so glad that God did Not answer my prayers as my mum would have missed out on the most glorious party of her life...she had overwhelming peace and a huge desire to move on and leave the diseased body behind. God had greater plans than I,,,I've not suggested any ideas to Him since as I've realised He has much better ones than me. This increased my faith, giving me a sense of Peace for Willies final journey. Although I could not imagine how The Lord could possibly make a young boys last few months palatable for any of us...

Wille had got to know and love my mum and called her nanny as if she belonged to him. My mum, knowing Wille had been given just a few months, promised Zoe she would look out for him when it was his time..obviously not in earshot of Wille. On the Saturday morning I went round to Zoe's to break the sad news. Willie and Rheanna were quite happy with my explanation of nanny going to
Heaven and resumed play very quickly as young children do. Thankfully to young to grasp the death concept in its entirety - well that's what I thought.

However that night in the bath Willie freaked out his mum by having an imaginary phone call to 'nanny', in Heaven, asking her what the food was like and concluding with "I'll see you soon". Ouch.

Zoe wasn't too sure if this was deeper than the usual calls and tried to smile and not read to much into it. The telephone calls continued always finishing with "I'll see you soon nanny." Then he progressed
to asking Zoe questions..."When you die mummy can you hold onto someone...when I die mummy can I hold on to you?"

Poor Zoe, it really threw her, but she promised he could hold on to her if he was dying. He never showed any fear or confirmed he thought he was dying, but lots pointed to the fact that he had a sixth sense that time was running out. For all the very many that can remember Willie and how much he adored his mum, never wanting to leave her side unless me or someone else in his top 10 was available to take her place. Yet profoundly he totally understood without any explanation that he would be going to Heaven solo. Knowing this he accepted it wholly and without question. I found this fact alone truly remarkable and so very insightful. He was happy to leave his mum as I believe Jesus had reassured him it would be until she too joined him when it was her time.

For those aware of his separation anxieties you will understand what I mean by how incredible it was that Willie had that Blessed assurance he would be ok...maybe Jesus promised him he would be with nanny. As I said God is awesome in His planning every detail to perfection. Willie had total trust in The Lord without any doubt following the passing of my mum.

For a while he spoke less of Heaven and continued to enjoy life, school days continued without too much fuss. I'm can't remember who arranged the tractor visit to St Marks, or exactly when this adventurer took place,  but one of the parents tipped up with the biggest tractor I had ever seen, driving it into the relatively small playground.

We knew it was due to arrive, but it was to be a surprise for Willie. We stood outside quietly waiting. His excitement soon bubbled over when he heard the tractors engine chugging closer and closer. That boy knew the sound of every type of farm vehicle and he started shouting "There's a tractor.There's a tractor."

 Imagine his joy when it stopped next to us and we led him carefully to the tractor. His face was beaming as we put his hand on the huge wheels, and then Zoe climbed aboard and held out her hand to help her son up. Sitting Willie on the very kind lady's lap, she let him steer the tractor round the playground...bearing in mind he was a totally blind 7 year old by now I'm not sure the health and safety regulations were being adhered to. There was riotous applause as the whole school had come out to witness 'Willies moment' - and among the teachers and staff not a dry eye in the playground...it was the highlight of Willies school career...and we are eternally grateful to Max's wonderful mum that came and made his dream come true.

The face says it all!

This was just the beginning of his adventures, no 'fading' away by the fun loving Willie Foster Horton was going to be done sedately. Praise God!

Not sure this passed the Health and Safety requirements!

Faith...what's faith...just a few thoughts not a whole sermon!

Life and death...the two guarantees in life for each and everyone of us. Well to be honest that's not entirely true as many who have been conceived do not know life outside their mothers womb...we had a little son that by-passed life as we know it and went direct to Heaven. When I was cuddling our little boy to say goodbye after he was stillborn - God spoke clearly to my heart.."Your time is not now but your time will be."

That was an enormous comfort to me and I look forward to saying Hi Ben...and watching him run to me with open arms calling "mum". Well this is my picture of Heaven, I dream of it often and it chokes me up..but I cannot even begin to imagine how it actually works and in what form we will be, but I do know that our souls will be together forever. It also gave me hope that if we were to be reunited with our son when it is our time, then surely that also applies to all the people you have loved on this earth..but then the complications and complexities of families is to great to imagine so as The Lord says in Isaiah 55 verse 8  "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways." Based on that I'm just going to trust that all will be good as He promises later in Revelation 21 verse 4 ""He will wipe away all tears from their eyes. There will be no more death, no more grief or crying or pain. The old things have disappeared." Therefore I am content to wait and see...I don't need to know the detail, and neither did Willie.

Imagine  trying to describe earth and colours, food, and people to a baby still in the womb? Exactly - so no point in anyone trying to describe the Heavenly realms. We can be assured of our place however if we believe in His son Jesus and the sacrifice He made on the cross so that we may be reconciled to God the Father. You may not share my take on that, you may have a different religion or are an atheist or agnostic. Whatever your beliefs or opinion it is certain that one day we will be somewhere else...'the hot place you don't get a suntan or Paradise' is how I felt led to describe our options a few years ago. You may have the belief that there is nothing at all beyond life. I respect every angle you may be coming from...the journey I'm going to share with you of a 7 year old with
special needs who would only take in 'bogey, digger and f***ting stories will be perhaps a little alien if you do not have a faith in Jesus.

Faith is believing in something we cannot see. We cannot see love but we feel and see the effects of love. We cannot see the wind but we can feel and see the effects of it. Both of these can be gentle, and both turbulent...God is Love ..we cannot see Him but we can feel His presence and see the effects of prayer, His Grace and His mercy.  He is steadfast and true, never changing like the wind, but holding us in the palm of His hand, walking with us in this fallen world. Gently leading us to eternity - however long and difficult the road may be.

Whilst reading these blogs I want to assure you that Willies faith was from deep within, a real personal connection to Jesus, although he couldn't read his own name or ever read one word of the Bible Willie had a profound Wisdom beyond his young years, and capacity to absorb God's love and guidance.  Even if it had been my desire to read chapter and verse or give him a daily sermon ..he
would not have listened beyond the first two words. He was acutely aware of my faith and we did thank Jesus for buskers etc we had prayed for..but no real depth or complicated detail came from me.

He therefore blew me away several times with his deep understanding and immense desire to meet Jesus face to face. His story is inspiring, brave, and beyond our human understanding. The evidence of Gods Grace was there for us to witness daily towards the end, right up to the precious moment this little boys wish and heartfelt desire came true and he was granted his long awaited 'wings'.

I hope those who do not believe in God  will still enjoy the story of one so little and yet so very brave, and yield just a little of the comfort Willie found invaluable on his journey home.

Coming soon...

Hi lovely people following Willie's  journey with us. The last few posts have hopefully given you a sense of who Willie was, his complicated brain tumour, his family and some of the many friends that joined him and who's hearts were captured by this incredibly happy (mostly!) little boy.

If his bravery and determination to live a relatively happy life has not yet inspired you to smile whatever life deals you, then fasten your seat belts as I'm going to embark on what I remember as a poignant enlightening few months...from when Willies parents were told by the consultants that there was no more they could do for this young man. I remember hearing the words.."He will just fade away".

'Fade away?' What? How do people 'fade away'. It was August 2007.

Zoe his mum was determined that Willie would never be aware of what was in store. She cheerfully continued to deliver a daily menu of fun activities, a life embracing love and laughter all the way within the limits of his condition. Willie on the other hand evidently knew in his heart that his time on earth was limited...and thus begins this incredible young soul's 'journey of faith' that taught me so much - including how to pray simply and beautifully.

Willie Foster-Horton it is a privilege to finally share your incredible relationship with Jesus..as you waited for 'your wings to fly to Heaven'. For any of you who fear passing from this life to the next, if you have lost a child, or a loved one, if you know someone who is sadly 'terminal'....may this brave boys heart and strong desire to spend an eternity with God in Heaven give you a sense of comfort. It is for this reason I believe his story should be shared. I have meant to tell this incredibly moving tale for so long...it would be criminal not to.

To live 8 years all but 2 weeks....there has to be a purpose...his mum agreed with that to, although Zoe does not have the same Faith she believes in Willies Faith, as the evidence was overwhelming.

I'm hoping to have the opportunity to 'blog,blog,blog over the next few days as I've got a few days off
Work, and hoping for a few 'cafe slots' whilst the boys enjoy boys stuff!

So many people were with us on the 'final countdown' - it was an incredibly Blessed time. I hope you will be truly Blessed as you journey with them and Willie through these next few blogs...

I pray that I will do this young man the justice he deserves and you will understand just what a brave little soldier my 'little best buddy' was.

Au pairs galore...

Hi all, I have little idea who is following this blog - I have tried to convey a snapshot of Willies short time on earth. I say a snap shot because it's taken from the memories in my own mind. If I ever did get round to making it into a book I would speak to many people who came and went in his life. I would have page upon page of fond stories they would recall.

His mum would definitely include their many visits to the beach. Zoe made a huge effort to go away as often as they could, au pair in tow to enjoy the delights of sea and sand. There is a fab photo of Willie on his 'banana' phone - ie holding a real banana held expertly in the telephone position as he made one of his famous imaginary phone calls.

Long walks, through woods and parks. Hose pipe spraying in summer, wellies and mud in Winter. Squidgy cuddles with small arms locked around your neck, sleeping like an angel with one hand on her. Because of his constant changes in mood, behaviour and temperature Zoe always slept with him to watch him and feel him close each night. It worked well for them both. Security for Willie and a knowledge for Zoe that she was there in case he was sick or floppy. How empty her bed must have been the night after he got his wings, I cannot begin to imagine the searing pain of reaching out and waking up to realise it wasn't a bad dream, but reality ...her small soulmate no longer there to cuddle, to stroke the soft curls and kiss the chubby little cheeks.

His dad would probably recall visiting him, ruffling his curls, and bending down to his level..receiving a big hug with those little arms squeezing tight behind his neck. Willie would be keen to show his dad the contents of his pocket or try to co-erce him into letting him go on a skateboard. In his absence working away, David would telephone the children daily to speak to them from wherever he was in the World. He worked hard to provide for them, and spent weekends with them whenever he could. As parents they were united in making life as comfortable and as happy as possible for their children, putting aside their differences to take them to the park to push them on the swings, and play ball with them. It must have been hard hearing when Willie was ill again, when he was so far away, wanting to jump on the next flight if he was admitted into hospital without warning. It broke him watching Willie in his last few days, helpless as a father, not being able to save his son. Wanting to hold him close, never to let him go. We have a beautiful  photo of the three of them huddled together on the settee with Willie lying on their laps, a beautiful and poignant photo, they all looked so peaceful as together they were in unison with their son and brother as he waited for his wings.

Rheanna his sister is coming to stay with us next weekend, now all grown up and learning to drive. I will write a blog with her to share with you the many wonderful and sometimes sad memories of growing up with her baby brother.  She spoke eloquently at his memorial service and acknowledged that even though she was sad he had been born with a brain tumour, it defined who he was..how he was...and she wouldn't have had him any other way, he was gorgeous and funny, and they adored each other. His illness never changed his huge heart and capacity to love, hug and giggle. I know she has so much to share, and she to misses him like crazy.


His paternal grandmother and Captain 'Poo' would recall Christmas family meals out at a restaurant with big sacks of presents and his excitement at opening carefully chosen gifts, like the small blue iPod that fitted perfectly into his pocket. The first time he went swimming in a neighbours pool with them, which he loved...playing with his cousin Micha and big sister altogether giggling, and.kicking a soft football around. Cuddles with aunty Fiona. They loved taking him out for a coffee and a treat. So many fond memories ...so very sad that they didn't have so long to enjoy him. Children don't usually die before their parents let alone their grandparents.

I have many friends that became a big part of his life to, and Dan Driver my godson was one of Willies heroes. Not only was he living in a small caravan working on a vineyard...that was an exciting adventure in itself but Dan also played the guitar. Can you see a pattern emerging. Dan is a Catholic and he wrote some music to the words of  The Hail Mary prayer. We went to visit Dan when Willie wasn't too well and was totally blind. Describing the small caravan to Willie was fun, and he could feel how small it all was as we ducked and dived in this tiny organised space.

Dan made us a cup of tea and strummed on the guitar. He sang the Hail Mary, and Willie loved it so much he kept saying 'again Danny again' when Dan finished it. It was a very special bond that was made that visit.

Later in his last days Willie asked for that song, and as Dan wasn't in the Uk at the time I telephoned Dan's mum Belinda and she sang it to him over the phone. He laid smiling - peacefully listening. It was as if he did have a deep understanding of the words and their meaning.

The many au pairs will have sooo many beautiful memories. It was not an easy job - not the A-typical family  often employing au pairs. Zoe couldn't cope without constant help at home, due to her disability and frozen shoulder. The damages received for her damaged shoulder following a car accident funded those extra pair of much needed hands. Zoe lived in an average sized 3 bedroom semi detached red brick house with a small extension providing an extra bedroom with shower and a downstairs toilet. It was situated in a long cul de sac mid way between a posh village Cold Ash and a less salubrious town Thatcham where I to resided.

I would scan the short list of applicants each time there was a change - to give my honest opinion on how suitable they seemed. It was hard as Zoe had to pay for them to come over from foreign lands eg Czech Republic, for an interview. So if they didn't like the family or Zoe didn't think they would be right then it became a costly business. The au pairs often came over with the purpose of learning English so the interview and first few weeks could be slightly awkward as they adjusted to this very precarious situation, with pidgeon English - there was a lot of hand waving and demonstrating from Zoe as she tried to explain how to best care for Willie and Rheanna.

Zoe sifted through many applications, she had several 'boxes' that were essential for ticking...patient, fun, loving, kind, likes organic food, will play with Rheanna and Willie, good at cooking, housework and would be willing to go the extra mile - i.e. being hosed down in the garden if Willie wanted to hose them down lol. I used to say their should be one box - a Christian faith - as my belief was that anyone would enjoy the position better with The Grace of God to draw on. There would always be crazy times, happy times, difficult tasks and sad moments. Signing up was a brave thing to do but the ones who made the grade gave their heart and soul and were often better than you could have ever wished for.

Many did apply, many were rejected, some stayed a year or so, one only a few weeks. It was a demanding full on position with so much responsibility  but the good ones were amazing. Zoe had a very high standard. Her ideals for organic food and lots of fresh air had to be adhered to. There were certain ways to cook the food and load the dishwasher. Hard for everyone including Zoe. I cannot imagine standing by  watching other people manage your children, playing with them, jumping on the trampoline, doing acrobatics and dancing wildly when you wanted to - but couldn't because of your body, not able to pick up, bend down or jump with excitement. So hard, yet Zoe remained strong and resigned to sitting and watching them all enjoying themselves together - with a smile on her face.

Astrid, a firm favourite with the two children, was there before Willies diagnosis. I met the family through Astrid and another friend. She was a young Czech girl who was adorable, fun loving and a bit scatty!They all adored her and she would take Willie on bus rides to Reading whilst Rheanna was at school. Willie and Rheanna often fought for attention from the lovely au pairs, so there were battles going on frequently to cajole the au pair to play with them.


Maria another fond favourite, was incredibly sensitive and very funny. Adored by us all, yes me included as she was as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside. Radim her boyfriend lived close by and often visited, to the delight of the two children. At sometime Radim's brother Victor joined in the fun, followed by Magda his girlfriend. Victor lodged with us for a few weeks (I do have the most understanding husband) and so did Maria when it got too tough staying 24/7 in a smallish space and a very demanding situation.

A real family affair - they were and still are a delightful bunch. Now all married and back in Prague and with children of their own they will have many poignant memories. We to have many fond memories. They gave their hearts and souls going beyond the call of duty to ensure the best care and the greatest fun was had by all.

At a time of great need in between au pairs Magda came over especially from Prague for 3 weeks. She dedicated her life 24/7 as Willie was getting weaker, it was real hands on care. Zoe was starting to get down knowing the inevitable was fast approaching so it was a tough but rewarding few weeks. Zoe totally appreciated Magda's care and heartfelt love, it took Magda a few months to recover from the enormity of the situation, once she was back home. It had been an emotional roller coaster.

Katharina a lovely German girl came for a few months. A nurse wishing to improve her English she
seemed the perfect choice. She adapted quickly and settled in, the children loved her and wanted her attention as always. Eventually this young girl found the going too tough :( - she also stayed with us whilst finding alternative work and accomodation. Khatarina is now back in Germany nursing and living happily with her partner. Rheanna went over for a holiday a few years ago - evidence of the strong bonds made.

Dhelia a wonderful tiny Philipino lady was older than all the other au pairs, and had grown up children back home that she sent money to. She was 'on fire for God' - an amazing Christian lady that Willie loved - older but still full of fun...and she would talk about Jesus to Willie as she looked after him, and prayed with him and for him. I was sad to see her leave, as I was with all the others. But there is only so long they could stay. The physical and emotional journey with the Foster-Hortons was always rewarded with love and laughter from the children - great moments of joy - coupled with hours of housework, hospital visits, and looking after and entertaining Wiliie and Rheanna - eventually it became too tiring and they moved on, leaving a fragrance of Jesus behind in Dhelias case.

Michael their only male au pair was a breath of fresh air after a bit of a blip in the line of successful au pairs. He came with new ideas for giving structure and routine to the household. He introduced discipline for the first time. As you can imagine this was a difficult task for Zoe. Hard enough when you have small cute children but when one has serious headaches and complications due to a brain tumour, how impossible is that to think about 'the naughty step' . Also Zoe had a sense of  Rheanna being in the shadow of her brothers needs and so found it very hard to tell her off, as she felt guilty not being able to spend quality time with her.

Michael had an endearing way with him and persuaded Zoe it would be best for the two children and Zoe if there was a semblance of order. This approach quickly won him the 'worst au pair' ever award - voted by Willie and Rheanna. They really did not appreciate his new rules and restrictions...and rebelled 'as one'. However after a few weeks there was a sense of calm in the household as Willie and Rheanna were more obliging and listened to Zoe a bit more.

The children eventually won, and Michael moved on - although he remained a loyal and caring friend
To them all.

Martina the final  au pair was young and energetic. Also from the Czech Republic, she soon learnt to speak good English. Willie loved dancing and being flipped upside down by Martina. He would giggle incessantly. An excellent housekeeper and quiet by nature, she completed their family for the duration of her stay, only leaving - sadly - when an au pair was no longer required.

Rheanna and Willie idolised her, and kept her very busy. Like all the others, her compassion was endless and her heart for them all, helped her to go that extra mile. In a world of happy excited children, sometimes very poorly quiet children, a mother suffering often with excruciating migraines, a house where there could be no loud noises, no TV, but a treasure chest of inner joy found deep in the hearts of The Foster-Horton family.

I salute each and everyone one of the au pairs -  I thank God He sent angels without wings to walk with this precious family in their time of great need.Amen indeed to that!

School fun days...

School...Willie never reached the dizzy heights of looking forward to school ..the best he got to, was a simmering resignation that for some reason - unbeknown to him - he had to attend ...regularly.

Zoe and David really wanted him to go to mainstream school and he was already familiar with St Marks as 'Rara' his older sister had been there for a couple of years. Willies favourite teacher before he even began was Mr Warrender...he had heard him playing the guitar in assembly (watching Rara) - when he was only 2.and became his no 1 fan. Playing guitar usually got you on Willie's 'most accepted' list.

I was impressed he could recall such a long name  :) Sadly His son Harry Warrender was not a guitar player and despite infinite attempts by Harry to make friends with Willlie, he never gelled with him. Poor Harry was sad about that, but no amount of cajoling would entice Willie to return the open hand of friendship.

He flouted the uniform rules and wore light grey elasticated jogging bottoms. These were more comfortable round his waist and the head teacher eventually caved in to allowing a deviant to the smart and strict uniform at St Marks primary school in Cold Ash. Occaisionally his navy granddad style jumper made an appearance. This was definitely his favourite as it had more pockets for his daily treasure.

Children are excellent at accepting each other and having a high level of tolerance. Willie only extended that policy to a chosen few. There was no rhyme or reason ...sometimes a spark of devilment in a character that would amuse him, helped. I can still hear the irritation in his voice if someone tried to join in with an activity. "JaaaDe Noooo" he would say determined not to share the play dough.

Play dough was one of the few activities he relished, water play, sand pits and mud digging also in his top 5. Reading, Writing, listening, Maths, drawing, painting "Noooooo" in fact Willie didn't ever learn to read , maybe he knew it was irrelevant.

Phonic books were often discarded by posting them through a gap in the fence, or trying to bury them in a freshly dug hole, as one teacher recalls. Carol Collis has many fond memories of his thwarted attempts to hide any book given to him. She remembers being at his memorial service and realizing he probably knew he wouldn't be needing that skill in his lifetime.

 He had absolutely no interest in reading. The only book he loved was Crispin the pig. It was a story about a pig who had so many toys but no friends. One day Crispin started playing in a big cardboard box that he imagined was a spaceship or other exciting things and through this imaginative play he met lots of friends. Willie loved the story with a passion, and we read it regularly. I often wondered if this was a reflection of how he felt himself , sadly no 'normal' friendships were ever made...possibly because he always had a carer in tow. he did also prefer the companionship of older children than his peers and in particular adults.

Everyday school curricula like sitting on the mat first thing were the hardest times to get him to conform. I resorted sometimes to whispering in his ear "If you are quiet you will hear the teacher f***. This made him giggle which did get us a look from the teacher but actually kept  him quiet for a few minutes.

The dressing up corner was a firm favourite, and playing shops or 'cooking' on the toy cooker. As his teaching assistant in reception it was my job remit to help engage Willie in each subject. His teachers job shared, Mrs Zealey I believe set his targets and goals. Mrs Zealey was known to be strict by nature, a little scary (mostly the parents were scared) but I have to confess she was brilliant with Willie and his education. Mrs Collis was softer spoken and not scary at all. I believe he liked them equally and did want to please them both. it was a challenging time for all the teachers to provide the right level of education for Willie, and at the same time not being too soft inspite of his illness. I believe the whole school adapted brilliantly and on reflection I felt it was an important and rewarding time for him.

He loved Mrs Marshall one of the other assistants as he thought she was a bit 'silly and lots of fun". After I left he did have many other one to one teaching assistants that I know have fond memories of him and their time together. Memories of them 'enjoying?' and 'exasperating' at the same time lol. Each and everyone adapted to his needs and understood his need to enjoy school within the educational system. They succeeded on the whole, as it was a mammoth task to cajole Willie to stay inside - even on the coldest wettest day..convincing the teachers with his persuasive arguments that there was every good reason to dig in the mud, despite the huge storm going on. They found themselves questioning their own rationale and almost caved in. Willie held the key to their hearts and they all allowed him a certain amount of bending the rules, often flouting them outrageously.

Tania Edwards his year 2 teacher, gave an incredible comic and fond performance of Willie at his memorial service, stripping off at the front to reveal the hidden drill tucked in the top of her trousers. He definitely made his mark at the school.

He would get grumpy if one of his least favourite classmates tried to help him or join in an activity. "Goooo away..Matthew" - he knew everyone's name he had an excellent memory capacity, and only had to be told once. I can't remember the names of all those in his year, and the rest of the school, so I'm making them up - eeek - if Willie was still here he would be able to reel off each and everyone of the 160?  pupils in the school at that time.

He bought out the best in his peers, they looked out for him, called out his name after he lost his sight, so as to identify themselves, and generally accepted him for himself. They tried to make him giggle, and wanted to befriend him in the playground. they took great care not to injure him in anyway and so treaded carefully around him.

 Zoe has given a trophy of 'kindness' in memory of Willie to be presented to a pupil that has been particularly caring during the school year. The first year it was presented to his whole class, for all their love and support to Willie through the years. They were amazing.

PE was almost an impossible task trying to cajole him to run in a straight line from one post to another. These kind of activities were not in line with meandering around the field finding mud to dig and sticks to pick up ...he usually ran straight back towards the classroom moaning lol.

He did enjoy ball games and sometimes the apparatus could be fun....one of my most memorable days was the sports day that Willie took part in. I stood with Zoe the other side of the rope held by two parents at the finish line. All the other little ones aged 6 ran as fast as they could wind sailing by their ears, giggling and falling over as they threw themselves across the finish line.

Willie, with all the stamina and speed he could muster walked/jogged towards me and his mum, unperturbed by the fact he was a long way behind his competitors. The others long since finished, turned and watched, the whole of the school - pupils, parents and staff cheering him on. All united in compassion and willing him to keep going "Willie Willie" they all chanted. Zoe and Rheanna watched on with pride. His teaching assistant within 'catching distance' should he trip and fall.

This short chubby little boy, in baggy navy shorts and sky blue t-shirt, blond curls swaying, headed home to the finish with the biggest cheekiest grin on his face ...over the finish line and into my arms as I swept him up and twirled him round hugging him tight...to the cheers of the crowd...I placed him back on the floor and he proudly accepted his sticker, from the smiling parent.

 A huge achievement, and a tremendous effort - recognised by the onlookers...probably not a dry eye on the field. Zoe was so amazed and proud of her brave boy, even though she was unable to pick him up herself she beamed from ear to ear as I swung him in the air. Willie was buoyant with excitement and relished his victory.

 

 

Such glee on his face as he was determined to get to the finish line.

(Watched closely by Mrs Ingram his T/A at the time)

 

 

 

A victory smile and a winning hug with mummy.

 

 

Without a doubt Willie was a winner that day. There were other special days and many happy memories..some I will continue in a later blog. For now I will leave you with the image of that little man running like he had never ran before, and hope you can hear the crowds as loudly as I can.