Au pairs galore...

Hi all, I have little idea who is following this blog - I have tried to convey a snapshot of Willies short time on earth. I say a snap shot because it's taken from the memories in my own mind. If I ever did get round to making it into a book I would speak to many people who came and went in his life. I would have page upon page of fond stories they would recall.

His mum would definitely include their many visits to the beach. Zoe made a huge effort to go away as often as they could, au pair in tow to enjoy the delights of sea and sand. There is a fab photo of Willie on his 'banana' phone - ie holding a real banana held expertly in the telephone position as he made one of his famous imaginary phone calls.

Long walks, through woods and parks. Hose pipe spraying in summer, wellies and mud in Winter. Squidgy cuddles with small arms locked around your neck, sleeping like an angel with one hand on her. Because of his constant changes in mood, behaviour and temperature Zoe always slept with him to watch him and feel him close each night. It worked well for them both. Security for Willie and a knowledge for Zoe that she was there in case he was sick or floppy. How empty her bed must have been the night after he got his wings, I cannot begin to imagine the searing pain of reaching out and waking up to realise it wasn't a bad dream, but reality ...her small soulmate no longer there to cuddle, to stroke the soft curls and kiss the chubby little cheeks.

His dad would probably recall visiting him, ruffling his curls, and bending down to his level..receiving a big hug with those little arms squeezing tight behind his neck. Willie would be keen to show his dad the contents of his pocket or try to co-erce him into letting him go on a skateboard. In his absence working away, David would telephone the children daily to speak to them from wherever he was in the World. He worked hard to provide for them, and spent weekends with them whenever he could. As parents they were united in making life as comfortable and as happy as possible for their children, putting aside their differences to take them to the park to push them on the swings, and play ball with them. It must have been hard hearing when Willie was ill again, when he was so far away, wanting to jump on the next flight if he was admitted into hospital without warning. It broke him watching Willie in his last few days, helpless as a father, not being able to save his son. Wanting to hold him close, never to let him go. We have a beautiful  photo of the three of them huddled together on the settee with Willie lying on their laps, a beautiful and poignant photo, they all looked so peaceful as together they were in unison with their son and brother as he waited for his wings.

Rheanna his sister is coming to stay with us next weekend, now all grown up and learning to drive. I will write a blog with her to share with you the many wonderful and sometimes sad memories of growing up with her baby brother.  She spoke eloquently at his memorial service and acknowledged that even though she was sad he had been born with a brain tumour, it defined who he was..how he was...and she wouldn't have had him any other way, he was gorgeous and funny, and they adored each other. His illness never changed his huge heart and capacity to love, hug and giggle. I know she has so much to share, and she to misses him like crazy.


His paternal grandmother and Captain 'Poo' would recall Christmas family meals out at a restaurant with big sacks of presents and his excitement at opening carefully chosen gifts, like the small blue iPod that fitted perfectly into his pocket. The first time he went swimming in a neighbours pool with them, which he loved...playing with his cousin Micha and big sister altogether giggling, and.kicking a soft football around. Cuddles with aunty Fiona. They loved taking him out for a coffee and a treat. So many fond memories ...so very sad that they didn't have so long to enjoy him. Children don't usually die before their parents let alone their grandparents.

I have many friends that became a big part of his life to, and Dan Driver my godson was one of Willies heroes. Not only was he living in a small caravan working on a vineyard...that was an exciting adventure in itself but Dan also played the guitar. Can you see a pattern emerging. Dan is a Catholic and he wrote some music to the words of  The Hail Mary prayer. We went to visit Dan when Willie wasn't too well and was totally blind. Describing the small caravan to Willie was fun, and he could feel how small it all was as we ducked and dived in this tiny organised space.

Dan made us a cup of tea and strummed on the guitar. He sang the Hail Mary, and Willie loved it so much he kept saying 'again Danny again' when Dan finished it. It was a very special bond that was made that visit.

Later in his last days Willie asked for that song, and as Dan wasn't in the Uk at the time I telephoned Dan's mum Belinda and she sang it to him over the phone. He laid smiling - peacefully listening. It was as if he did have a deep understanding of the words and their meaning.

The many au pairs will have sooo many beautiful memories. It was not an easy job - not the A-typical family  often employing au pairs. Zoe couldn't cope without constant help at home, due to her disability and frozen shoulder. The damages received for her damaged shoulder following a car accident funded those extra pair of much needed hands. Zoe lived in an average sized 3 bedroom semi detached red brick house with a small extension providing an extra bedroom with shower and a downstairs toilet. It was situated in a long cul de sac mid way between a posh village Cold Ash and a less salubrious town Thatcham where I to resided.

I would scan the short list of applicants each time there was a change - to give my honest opinion on how suitable they seemed. It was hard as Zoe had to pay for them to come over from foreign lands eg Czech Republic, for an interview. So if they didn't like the family or Zoe didn't think they would be right then it became a costly business. The au pairs often came over with the purpose of learning English so the interview and first few weeks could be slightly awkward as they adjusted to this very precarious situation, with pidgeon English - there was a lot of hand waving and demonstrating from Zoe as she tried to explain how to best care for Willie and Rheanna.

Zoe sifted through many applications, she had several 'boxes' that were essential for ticking...patient, fun, loving, kind, likes organic food, will play with Rheanna and Willie, good at cooking, housework and would be willing to go the extra mile - i.e. being hosed down in the garden if Willie wanted to hose them down lol. I used to say their should be one box - a Christian faith - as my belief was that anyone would enjoy the position better with The Grace of God to draw on. There would always be crazy times, happy times, difficult tasks and sad moments. Signing up was a brave thing to do but the ones who made the grade gave their heart and soul and were often better than you could have ever wished for.

Many did apply, many were rejected, some stayed a year or so, one only a few weeks. It was a demanding full on position with so much responsibility  but the good ones were amazing. Zoe had a very high standard. Her ideals for organic food and lots of fresh air had to be adhered to. There were certain ways to cook the food and load the dishwasher. Hard for everyone including Zoe. I cannot imagine standing by  watching other people manage your children, playing with them, jumping on the trampoline, doing acrobatics and dancing wildly when you wanted to - but couldn't because of your body, not able to pick up, bend down or jump with excitement. So hard, yet Zoe remained strong and resigned to sitting and watching them all enjoying themselves together - with a smile on her face.

Astrid, a firm favourite with the two children, was there before Willies diagnosis. I met the family through Astrid and another friend. She was a young Czech girl who was adorable, fun loving and a bit scatty!They all adored her and she would take Willie on bus rides to Reading whilst Rheanna was at school. Willie and Rheanna often fought for attention from the lovely au pairs, so there were battles going on frequently to cajole the au pair to play with them.


Maria another fond favourite, was incredibly sensitive and very funny. Adored by us all, yes me included as she was as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside. Radim her boyfriend lived close by and often visited, to the delight of the two children. At sometime Radim's brother Victor joined in the fun, followed by Magda his girlfriend. Victor lodged with us for a few weeks (I do have the most understanding husband) and so did Maria when it got too tough staying 24/7 in a smallish space and a very demanding situation.

A real family affair - they were and still are a delightful bunch. Now all married and back in Prague and with children of their own they will have many poignant memories. We to have many fond memories. They gave their hearts and souls going beyond the call of duty to ensure the best care and the greatest fun was had by all.

At a time of great need in between au pairs Magda came over especially from Prague for 3 weeks. She dedicated her life 24/7 as Willie was getting weaker, it was real hands on care. Zoe was starting to get down knowing the inevitable was fast approaching so it was a tough but rewarding few weeks. Zoe totally appreciated Magda's care and heartfelt love, it took Magda a few months to recover from the enormity of the situation, once she was back home. It had been an emotional roller coaster.

Katharina a lovely German girl came for a few months. A nurse wishing to improve her English she
seemed the perfect choice. She adapted quickly and settled in, the children loved her and wanted her attention as always. Eventually this young girl found the going too tough :( - she also stayed with us whilst finding alternative work and accomodation. Khatarina is now back in Germany nursing and living happily with her partner. Rheanna went over for a holiday a few years ago - evidence of the strong bonds made.

Dhelia a wonderful tiny Philipino lady was older than all the other au pairs, and had grown up children back home that she sent money to. She was 'on fire for God' - an amazing Christian lady that Willie loved - older but still full of fun...and she would talk about Jesus to Willie as she looked after him, and prayed with him and for him. I was sad to see her leave, as I was with all the others. But there is only so long they could stay. The physical and emotional journey with the Foster-Hortons was always rewarded with love and laughter from the children - great moments of joy - coupled with hours of housework, hospital visits, and looking after and entertaining Wiliie and Rheanna - eventually it became too tiring and they moved on, leaving a fragrance of Jesus behind in Dhelias case.

Michael their only male au pair was a breath of fresh air after a bit of a blip in the line of successful au pairs. He came with new ideas for giving structure and routine to the household. He introduced discipline for the first time. As you can imagine this was a difficult task for Zoe. Hard enough when you have small cute children but when one has serious headaches and complications due to a brain tumour, how impossible is that to think about 'the naughty step' . Also Zoe had a sense of  Rheanna being in the shadow of her brothers needs and so found it very hard to tell her off, as she felt guilty not being able to spend quality time with her.

Michael had an endearing way with him and persuaded Zoe it would be best for the two children and Zoe if there was a semblance of order. This approach quickly won him the 'worst au pair' ever award - voted by Willie and Rheanna. They really did not appreciate his new rules and restrictions...and rebelled 'as one'. However after a few weeks there was a sense of calm in the household as Willie and Rheanna were more obliging and listened to Zoe a bit more.

The children eventually won, and Michael moved on - although he remained a loyal and caring friend
To them all.

Martina the final  au pair was young and energetic. Also from the Czech Republic, she soon learnt to speak good English. Willie loved dancing and being flipped upside down by Martina. He would giggle incessantly. An excellent housekeeper and quiet by nature, she completed their family for the duration of her stay, only leaving - sadly - when an au pair was no longer required.

Rheanna and Willie idolised her, and kept her very busy. Like all the others, her compassion was endless and her heart for them all, helped her to go that extra mile. In a world of happy excited children, sometimes very poorly quiet children, a mother suffering often with excruciating migraines, a house where there could be no loud noises, no TV, but a treasure chest of inner joy found deep in the hearts of The Foster-Horton family.

I salute each and everyone one of the au pairs -  I thank God He sent angels without wings to walk with this precious family in their time of great need.Amen indeed to that!