Willies journey of faith has been on my heart and in my mind since Willie moved on. I have told many people over the years about his incredible faith, and I'm sure there are very few weeks that go by, that I don't mention him and his desire to fly to Heaven. I always try to précis it down so as not to keep them for a few hours..but always feel I'm selling Willie short if I rush it. I have often wished I had a book in my hand that I can give them. A book full of inspiration, young profound wisdom showing the love of God - that will touch the very heart of their souls. A book they can take away and savour the moment, digest the deep desire this brave soul had to obtain his 'wings'...a thirst only to be quenched by Jesus himself reaching down gently to take this little boy home to Heaven.
I wouldn't have to speak a word, but just hand them the book and say 'read this'. A powerful testimony to God's infinite love, Willies story had to be told. How could such a short life be extinguished long before the three score years and ten unless there was a purpose? What a waste if his story is not shared - if he was forgotten by the majority as the years pass - just a fleeting memory as we get older, the odd smile when a reminder popped up in the shape of digger, or a busker in town. Writing this blog has been an avenue for me to tell the story...to those who knew him and to introduce him to those who didn't. As I reach the final furlong..it is with trepidation, as it's not going to be easy for any of us, least of all Zoe, David and Rheanna. I'm praying God will be writing this with me, and that I can write sensitively for the family and friends that remember this time like it was yesterday.
Willie never asked God to heal him, it was as if he accepted that was not an option for him.
To help pass the time away I suggested to Willie that we could write a letter to my son Simon who was away at that time. I asked him to dictate it whilst I wrote it. I reminded him Simon was staying where they prayed a lot, and asked Willie what prayer requests should we send?
Immediately without hesitation he answered 'ask him to pray that I can be a special star in the sky'.
I had such a lump in my throat...Willie never talked about the level of pain he was in or complained
at being able to see the world he lived in, never. We had no idea - he put on a brave face daily,
happiest when surrounded by laughter, laughing with us. It was as if he had become the wise grown
up, easing us into letting him go. Remarkable as he still couldn't read or write...such maturity in such a young life.
The beautiful images he fed us leading to him passing were beautiful in every aspect. A special star in the sky was a profound image of such beauty. A place not here, but one that overlooked us from afar, one that remained in our sights twinkling it's radiance from the Heavens. Wow.
Three weeks before he was granted 'his wings' he took a downward turn, sleeping constantly almost to a comatose state. Not speaking one word. We really felt this was his time coming to an end, we believed we would never hear him talk again. No tears from him and only morsels of food and sips of drink. No smiling broadly whilst requesting 'a mug of tea right up to there(finger pointing
enthusiastically) with a big blob of honey. We all felt our hearts breaking as we prepared to say goodbye. He was fading it seemed by the hour, how much longer?
After a few days of this, I ventured trepidly into their room on the Saturday morning, with baited breath. I crept towards the sleeping figure, so still, so angelic. His mum propped up on one arm smiling bravely as she watched over her precious cherub. She looked up at me with that resigned heartfelt knowing smile, only a mother can give in such poignant moments. Her heart torn into pieces over the years...breaking further still.
Our eyes met then looked down at her sleeping son. Out of nowhere Willie sat bolt upright..no word of a lie, chatting happily as if nothing was wrong.
"Can I play in the sand today?" he asked with an impish grin on his face.
Zoe and I looked at each other in shocked surprise...we seriously had not expected to hear his sweet voice ever again. Zoe answered him quickly 'Yes of course Willie - would you like a drink?"
"Yes please..a cup of tea..right up to there with a big blob of honey"
It was a good job Willie couldn't see the tears of joy and relief on our faces as we moved quickly to get tea and sand into place. Incredible recovery.
We sat Willie on the chair and Zoe knelt beside him.
"Willie, if there is anything you want to ask anything you don't understand ? - we will try and answer it for you.."
Willies face broke into a smile, a big cheesy grin..."I just want to say a great big prayer to God"
Zoe burst into tears..
"What would you like to pray for" I asked him.
" I just want to tell Him, just how much I love Him" he replied with the biggest smile reaching from ear to ear.
Willie, I knew at that moment, had taught me how to pray properly. No requests, but simply telling God how much you love Him.
If you have children of your own, have you ever had that heart stopping moment when they have come up to you, declared their love for you, and then walked off without adding.."Can I have..."
In a house full of boys, it has happened only a handful of times when they have said "I love you" with no added requests....but each rare moment it truly blessed me and made me realise that maybe God also wants us to say it to him often, just that. So when this child of 7 said it with all his heart when he had so much he could have asked for, it showed me that keeping it simple was indeed the very best prayer of all. It showed a trust that was deep and steadfast. God knew what he wanted he didn't need to ask.
There was no list that one could have anticipated..."please let me see again, don't let me die, take away my pain, heal me of my brain tumour", none of those - just - simply -" I want to tell Him how much I love Him."
For any one who has read the book 'The Shack' I believe that those few days of Willie seemingly in
an almost vegetative state, Willie had been in his own 'shack'.For those who knew Willie, you will remember how he was quite fussy who he spent time with. Not one to go off easily with a stranger, or with anyone who didn't make him laugh or play a musical instrument. So for this reason I can only conclude that Willie was in a world getting to know God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit, a world where they became what he needed them to be. An insight deeper into Heaven, building up a relationship for Willie to trust and to look forward to being with God for an eternity.
Willie knew he would be leaving his mum behind, he knew he was off on this adventure with no other human by his side. Why else would he have come back into a fully 'compos mentis' state, with such love and deep desire for God - God must have made him laugh lots and shown him eternity and the promise of a time to come without any pain or tears, but pure love and joy..forever. A promise Willie held dear, as he waited patiently for his wings.
His faith continued to grow. One day sitting in the chair he gave a loud sigh. "Whats up Willie" I
asked.
"I want the King to come today"..he sighed again.
"Which King Willie?" I asked
"The King of Bethlehem" he replied.
I looked at Zoe, astounded..nobody refers to Jesus as The King of Bethlehem, but of course He is The King born in Bethlehem".
I turned to Willie, and for his mums benefit (who was still unsure of the God stuff), I asked him if Jesus came to speak to him..he turned towards me, looking bemused and said simply "yeah?" He knew that Jesus also spoke to me, and wondered why I would even dream of asking him.
I wanted Zoe to hear all these things from his lips, words to confirm his faith, hopefully building a secure picture for her, preparing her to be able to let him go. Evidence that could not be denied. I am in awe of Jesus as He gave Willie a name we are not familiar with so that it was more than obvious The Lord was indeed speaking directly to Willie.
I reflected as I was preparing my talk for his celebration, that Willie truly understood the depth of my faith. He knew that 'our house was built on rock' as in Matthew 7 verses 24-27 - which is why I
believe he settled in so quickly and wanted to be with us when 'the storm' came.
But dearest Willie, it never reached storm heights did it?, when you were Blessed with those wings it was but a gentle lapping of the waters on a tranquil beach. You had so much to teach us , and you taught us well. May your faith continue to Bless this world that you left. May you continue to inspire all who read about your journey. What a privilege it was to walk side by side with you. I continue to remember those precious lessons you shared with me in those last few weeks. Thank you my angel, thank you for all that you were, and all that you continue to be in our hearts. God Bless you always, Amen x
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