Life settled down fairly quickly, Zoe and Willie enjoying quiet times in the converted garage, Willie slept on and off during the day. We were beginning to understand what 'fading' away actually meant and realised it was an apt description. Their quiet times were interspersed with visits from numerous people floating in and out. Some were their friends, social workers, helpers and Teaching assistants, others the many relatives and friends of our family.

Pete and the boys adapted incredibly well, mostly continuing life as normal and ignoring all activity in 'west wing'. We did let Zoe and Willie out occasionally lol...they had the run of the house and our small back garden. Willie loved coming through to the kitchen to sit and eat his dinner amidst the hub bub of the Smith household. Rheanna was excited and happy to be living in, and quickly adapted to being part of the 'Smith household'  with regular visits to her mum and brother. Rheanna recalls being aware of the reason they had moved in with us, but didn't think Willie would actually die. He was relatively well, and seemed content and happy - definitely didn't look like he was going anywhere soon.

We had two golden retrievers at the time and although Willie had never been fond of dogs, he loved Rosie the elder one, and tolerated Poppy who was a bit more boisterous at 4 months. Rheanna on the other hand adored dogs of any shape, size or age and idolised both of them. They were both gentle and loving. Rosie at 20 months sensed there was something wrong with Willie. Whenever he sat at the table his little legs would dangle over the edge of the kitchen chair. Rosie instantly would park herself Under his legs like a long footstool. There she would lay without moving an inch until he left the table, her job done. We never encouraged her to do this, it was her natural loving nature to help out where she could. It was a big help and Willie loved his footstool and respected her - never kicking or moving his feet around. They became very close in those last weeks, Rosie often found with her head placed carefully in his lap or standing quietly beside him, as if she was his protector.

There was no cooker in 'West wing' so Zoe had to come through to our kitchen to cook. It was a busy household, much going on, many bodies to feed - I offered to cook for them to but Zoe had a very specific way of cooking organic food. With our mob it was too costly to feed organically, so we often
Cooked alongside each other..which was enjoyable. Willie loved my homemade chips and every so
often Zoe relented and let him have a small plateful. Sprinkling on lots of salt, there were poignant thoughts of...it's not going to hurt him now, let him enjoy the moment..that boy loved salt!

Zoe had always ensured the children ate healthily and she kept that up to his last weeks, the juicer
grinding up the raw fresh organic produce to give them a vegetable smoothie. I did refer to it as
'swamp' juice as it looked like something Shrek would have been proud of. Willie loved the name - possibly more than the juice, but he dutifully drank it without complaint. Rheanna however was more akin to running away when being offered a glass of swamp juice. Eventually she would return and drink it to please her mum. I'm not sure I ever did taste it lol. I think I missed an opportunity to convert to healthy eating whilst they were with us.

 I found a video, taken when my niece and nephew were staying with us, and my sister and her children were due to arrive..The joint Tesco delivery for Zoe and for all of us topped £500! I think the expression on the delivery man's face was not one of amusement. It was such a big event - Zoe filmed it. I cannot get it to load properly, but it will give you a taste of how the Lord provided an excellent team of helpers. I pay tribute to my family who did give so much of themselves, and tolerated a feast of activity for those nine weeks, mostly with a smile. Writing this I don't recall too much of our lives during this time, so I guess Pete and the boys were probably neglected fairly significantly by me.

Mayhem ensued as more visitors continually came and went. Amazingly Zoe coped really well with the hustle and bustle. She enjoyed most of it, and definitely preferred to be amidst the crowds rather than struggling at home alone. It helped keep us all buoyant and Willie loved it. There were so many new people to meet, new voices to decipher, new jokes to be heard, lots of new smells. As many of you may know when one sense disappears, the others are heightened. Willies sense of hearing and smell definitely sharpened up once he lost his sight. Often I would tiptoe into their room, gesticulating carefully to Zoe to see if all was well, and ask if he's still sleeping....before I finished mouthing the words "is he..." A little voice would blurt out excitedly .."Miffy". I will never know if he heard me (distinctive footsteps) or smelt me (distinctive ...hopefully not too bad) smell. I don't wear perfume regularly so not sure what identified me, but he was spot on every time, even from the deepest of sleeps. There was something very special about being recognised so
easily, I loved the bond we shared, it chokes me up writing this, remembering going over to him
sitting on the edge of the double bed they shared, holding his hand gently as he sat bolt up right to chat to me. Bubbly, vivacious full of chatter, he would often start with "did you know..."

I did feel a bit guilty at waking him up though. Once awake he would want to go for a walk round the house to see who was in, or to go out into the sunshine and lie with the dogs on the trampoline...saying "Poppiiiieee" in a tone that sounded like he was reprimanding the puppy as she tried to lick his hand. Or "Roosssiiiee" he would giggle gently pushing her away, as she tried to cuddle up right next to him. You could so easily forget he was blind, he acted as though he could see everything and everybody.