My lovely mum was living with us in 2007 following the sad death of my stepfather in 2005 and her diagnosis of terminal cancer. An inspiration to us all she taught us how to live and give thanks one day at a time. We all enjoyed her bubbly company and enthusiasm for enjoying the moment without complaint or fear. I was guilty of waining a bit in my faith and dreaded the meeting with her consultant when she delivered a 'time' frame. I couldn't bear the thought of my mums face as her 'sentence' was delivered.
For this reason I confess (I never did tell my mum or my brother eek) that I prayed to God he would take her gently whilst she slept so she wouldn't have to face death head on. This was crazy as every morning for 18 months I took in her cup of tea with bated breath...had my prayers been answered? Thankfully again and again she greeted me with a chirpy "good morning".
On her 67th birthday on 4/9/2007 the consultant said 'it'...the moment had arrived..."I'm sorry your liver has failed..it is no longer functioning..you are too ill for chemotherapy...
I knew from previous experience of friends relatives that this would probably give her a maximum of 2 weeks. My mum did not break down..I did (after she had walked back to the car with my brother).
My ultimate fear had not been realised, mum smiled peacefully, thanked Jane her consultant for all her help and support and prepared to say goodbye.
Taken aback by mum's serene and accepting composure, Jane exclaimed.."of course if you feel a bit
better next week do give me a call. How hard a job these consultants have, Jane had kept mum going 2 years beyond the original diagnosis and anticipated 3 months survival. In our eyes she had excelled in her care and compassion, and yet sadly the moment had arrived when she could help no longer. Amazing consultants, we were very fortunate to have had excellent experiences with all that mum came into contact.
I needn't have worried...mum came home blew out her candles and continued to party for the next few days as friends and family in their droves came and went. There was much laughter, few tears and incredible peace. On the Friday morning bedridden and not eating (I actually think we forgot to feed her oops) she held my hand and said " I feel so weary Sue, After the visitors have gone I'll go if you don't mind." "Sure mum I replied - you book your ticket". There was a sense of Peace beyond understanding, an acceptance that this was mum's time. Time for us to let go, and let God.
The visitors came and went, she telephoned my Uncle Ron who was on holiday abroad..friends and family prayed with her (I was slightly perturbed by the fact she preferred my best friends son to pray
with her rather than me!) the younger grandchildren went to bed, and at 1am ish with her three children and 3 of her elder grandchildren holding hands with her by candlelight, in her bedroom, we witnessed the most peaceful and beautiful passing from this life into the next. Even the doctor who had visited earlier to administer some strong pain killers when mum got uncomfortable, came in to certify her death, said gently"something very special happened here tonight."
I miss my mum soooo much but I'm so glad that God did Not answer my prayers as my mum would have missed out on the most glorious party of her life...she had overwhelming peace and a huge desire to move on and leave the diseased body behind. God had greater plans than I,,,I've not suggested any ideas to Him since as I've realised He has much better ones than me. This increased my faith, giving me a sense of Peace for Willies final journey. Although I could not imagine how The Lord could possibly make a young boys last few months palatable for any of us...
Wille had got to know and love my mum and called her nanny as if she belonged to him. My mum, knowing Wille had been given just a few months, promised Zoe she would look out for him when it was his time..obviously not in earshot of Wille. On the Saturday morning I went round to Zoe's to break the sad news. Willie and Rheanna were quite happy with my explanation of nanny going to
Heaven and resumed play very quickly as young children do. Thankfully to young to grasp the death concept in its entirety - well that's what I thought.
However that night in the bath Willie freaked out his mum by having an imaginary phone call to 'nanny', in Heaven, asking her what the food was like and concluding with "I'll see you soon". Ouch.
Zoe wasn't too sure if this was deeper than the usual calls and tried to smile and not read to much into it. The telephone calls continued always finishing with "I'll see you soon nanny." Then he progressed
to asking Zoe questions..."When you die mummy can you hold onto someone...when I die mummy can I hold on to you?"
Poor Zoe, it really threw her, but she promised he could hold on to her if he was dying. He never showed any fear or confirmed he thought he was dying, but lots pointed to the fact that he had a sixth sense that time was running out. For all the very many that can remember Willie and how much he adored his mum, never wanting to leave her side unless me or someone else in his top 10 was available to take her place. Yet profoundly he totally understood without any explanation that he would be going to Heaven solo. Knowing this he accepted it wholly and without question. I found this fact alone truly remarkable and so very insightful. He was happy to leave his mum as I believe Jesus had reassured him it would be until she too joined him when it was her time.
For those aware of his separation anxieties you will understand what I mean by how incredible it was that Willie had that Blessed assurance he would be ok...maybe Jesus promised him he would be with nanny. As I said God is awesome in His planning every detail to perfection. Willie had total trust in The Lord without any doubt following the passing of my mum.
For a while he spoke less of Heaven and continued to enjoy life, school days continued without too much fuss. I'm can't remember who arranged the tractor visit to St Marks, or exactly when this adventurer took place, but one of the parents tipped up with the biggest tractor I had ever seen, driving it into the relatively small playground.
We knew it was due to arrive, but it was to be a surprise for Willie. We stood outside quietly waiting. His excitement soon bubbled over when he heard the tractors engine chugging closer and closer. That boy knew the sound of every type of farm vehicle and he started shouting "There's a tractor.There's a tractor."
Imagine his joy when it stopped next to us and we led him carefully to the tractor. His face was beaming as we put his hand on the huge wheels, and then Zoe climbed aboard and held out her hand to help her son up. Sitting Willie on the very kind lady's lap, she let him steer the tractor round the playground...bearing in mind he was a totally blind 7 year old by now I'm not sure the health and safety regulations were being adhered to. There was riotous applause as the whole school had come out to witness 'Willies moment' - and among the teachers and staff not a dry eye in the playground...it was the highlight of Willies school career...and we are eternally grateful to Max's wonderful mum that came and made his dream come true.
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| The face says it all! |
This was just the beginning of his adventures, no 'fading' away by the fun loving Willie Foster Horton was going to be done sedately. Praise God!
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| Not sure this passed the Health and Safety requirements! |
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